Sunday, July 06, 2008

Traffikkiiiiiiiiii

TrrafficKKKKK... do I need to say more... I know you would say... now don't get started. I understand why one would say this; it is a never-ending discussion! Does anything ever change the situation, no matter how many times you crib in a day, regardless of how often your car is kissed by another 'body of mass' constituting traffic! Uhhh...how ridiculous!

For someone like me who loves to drive, the 'traffic' just takes away the fun of it. In some unobtrusive moments I mull over the ordeal, and try to add a punch of humor to the whole situation.

One perspective is to look at the road as a F1 racetrack and with the attitude; I get there no matter what comes dude! Watch out fellas, am coming! Start from home in full vigor, ready to take over the world, turn on your music real loud, turn on the air-conditioner and get ready to hit the road. The first encounter on the way, the 'infamous' auto-rickshaw (
aahhh my fav topic in trafficK) The bloke thinks he rules the road himself as he just has a 3-wheeler and can get through the narrowest lacuna you create. Now your objective is to avoid any such eventuality and make ‘your’ way first. You start the despicable honking, yeah man, behold, my horn is louder than yours and am gonna blow your ears offff!!! honk honk... honk honk... annnnnnnnnnnddd wheeee he's forced to move left now you zip around him from the right-side and yippppeeeee... I made it!

Now am on the main road, and driving amongst other 4-wheelers, all very solemn and sedate; wondering where they would be able to make it on time for that 10 AM meeting, or have to show a sorry face. We drive on much slower now, the number of cars only increase until we come to that ill-fated halt! Now I have a ton of cars in front of me, to the left and the right; even behind... could one get into a stickier situation than this??? This really kills the morning spirit... does it... duh???? What next? The best thing to do in a situation like this is to find comfort in another’s travails. Its really simple actually, just look around at the drivers of the other 4-wheeled masses around you; some totally placid, other lackadaisical, and interestingly some on the
qui vive, waiting to take off at that slightest stir.

But we’re not done until we add the icing to this wonnnderful chocolate cake we’re in the process of making. Us on the 4-wheeled masses often tend to go amiss, as we tend to ignore the trivia—introducing the 2-wheeled roadies! These dudes have just always excelled in the art of ‘making their way’ through the smallest fissures you despairingly leave for want of a little space or just from getting your ‘manually’ controlled side view mirror from closing like an automatic one! Oh how could we have missed them??? Amidst the intergalactic masses, neatly parked; after having put a lot of effort into ‘not’ leaving that last inch, you per chance hear that little zoom n zippin sound, and alas he is here, parked right in front on you and that too at an angle, so he can ‘fit’ the gap!!! After all that effort, he still makes it!!! They’re all aliens…Uhh God! life is unfair… And that’s not the end there again; everyone behind is now following the leader, and before you know it, you find yourself surrounded by a swaarm of bees!!! Zip zip zip, one behind the other they all wrench their way through!! But everyone’s not perfect there now, so there’s needs to be that little causality, oh stop stop, there goes my side view mirror, turned a 180 degrees in the opposite direction!!! The blighter just looks back at you with this half unapologetic look and pushes off!!! What a bummer!!! It transcends my imagination how 'closely' we miss each other, when we do of course; just by inches and centimeters! We spoke about killing the spirit earlier, and I will have to reiterate that… this kills the spirit dude! What’s next now?

We finally break off from that intergalactic mass and move on, the jam is tardily freeing, but we’re still inching, with foot on the clutch, pulling up the remnant enthuse, we move on, with the 2-wheeled body guards escorting us omni-directionally!

Suddenly, what’s that noise? Ambulance? Police? Oh no, I know that sound, it’s the VIPs. Of course, it had to be them, office time is the time they choose to make it to the venue of their mass gatherings, addressing the common man before the election time. No wonder we were parked like the army waiting for the king to make his way first… and then the commons!

Finally, when one does get to work, one is nothing short of some delectable tangdi kabab or over cooked barbeque chicken or??? At this point of time, the thought of the journey back home is just another incomprehensible one....

And thus one makes the relentless effort each day through this mad mad congestion, and still survives it… aah life is a miracle, we survive most of the things no matter how frustrating!! You look on and so do the incapacitated traffic police. Now lets not start that discussion ... :)

3 comments:

Oreen said...

this was a fun read... am sure every reader will empathize with you...
every Indian reader, I mean... :-)

imagine explaining this to someone from Norway??

satya said...

he...hehe...hehehe...Remember what the auto guy told that day? This is just your side of the story, you must also think about those who you scare everyday on the road :-)

Sreya said...

thats ok... but just note that I make it a point to scare away all auto guys :D